Really??? (a small rant for your saturday enjoyment)

My friend Christina teaches 5th grade literature at one of the Clarksville schools. She had the librarian bring her several books last week that a potential substitute could work on with the class. One of these books is called Swamp Angel. It is a story about a girl born and raised in the Tennessee woods that was bigger than everyone else and eventually became the greatest woodswoman ever. Well, a mean bear comes into their village and is eating everyone's food and causing a mess so they decide to have a contest to see who can kill this bear. The village men don't want the girl to participate because they think she should be home baking pies and quilting. So off go all the men on their quests to kill this bear.

The first man is found with a silly grin on his face having run into the bear and been "licked in more ways than one". Okay, there is a little bit of an innuendo there but I guess it could be overlooked. It's the illustration that drives this home. The drawing shows a woodsman with a barrel over his head, legs bent in at the knees and UNDERWEAR AROUND HIS ANKLES!!!! What in the world is this suppose to mean? Is the reader (mind you, the age for this book is 4-10 years old) suppose to draw the conclusion that the bear pulled this guys underwear down and licked his rear or worse (you see where I'm going with this). Furthermore, the "silly grin" on the guys face suggests that he enjoyed this run in with the bear. Wow...seems like a classic for your child's personal library!

Obviously my friend did not leave this book to be read aloud to her 5th grade class. She called the librarian and was told that it probably would not be removed from the shelf so Christina has kept the book to take to her principal next week.

This is just wrong on so many levels...

serenity

This is why fall is my favorite time of year! This is my backyard (I know my camera doesn't do it justice but it's still pretty).

hypocrisy

This year was the first time we let Ellie dress up for Halloween. It started innocently enough. A boy down the street had his birthday the week before and was having a costume party so we got her a costume. Then we decided we would take her to one of the many church carnivals but as the evening rolled around we both were feeling lazy and just let her join in with the neighborhood kids and go trick or treating. Shameful, I know. And two weeks later we are still snacking on the candy...

catching up

33 weeks and counting down!!! The nursery is officially done (except hanging the curtains). We are ready!

milestones

Yesterday my baby officially started preschool. I said I wasn't going to do it. She begged and pleaded otherwise and so on this morning, I had crow for breakfast, packed up my baby, and dropped her off at school. She loved it! They painted and took pictures and on and on. My solace came when she said "I had a lot of fun but I missed you very much mama".

*************************************************************************************

same song, second verse

in other news, baby CJ is measuring in the 8th percentile so we get to start repeating monthly ultrasounds to chart his growth (until he reaches the 10th percentile) i guess chad and i just make little peanuts for babies. it's ironic that i jump on the scale to see a thirty pound weight gain (yes girls, I'm barely over half-way there) and then have the doctor tell you they are concerned about how little he is. note to self: cut back on the sweet potatoes!!

Yee-Haw

This is the first of many nursery pics to come but I wanted to share the theme (and brag on myself a little because I made these sheets and they actually fit the mattress).

Out of Control

I admit it...I've got a serious problem. I said I wasn't going to do it in the new house (at least until C.J. was born) but alas, the painting has begun. I only made it two months with antique white walls before those very walls starting closing in on me. As of today, my kitchen is "fresh biscotti", my dining room is "rattan palm" and one accent wall in my living room is also "rattan palm". I may be crazy but tonight when I go to bed there will be a smile on my face because my new house finally feels like a home (and I know tomorrow the antique white in the living room will also be replaced with "fresh biscotti". We all have our demons...



In other news, Ellie will officially start preschool on September 4th. She's very, very excited, however she thinks she will be riding the bus with all the other kids on this street.

Chad Preston Edwards, Jr. (C.J.)

good dog, good dog

She was an incredible dog. Intense but silly. She had the biggest ears you've ever seen and would stick them out sideways like Yoda. Chad and I bought her the week after we got married. She used to climb into bed with me on my days off after Chad had left for school and snuggle. Today we had to put her down. We know it was the right thing to do and that it was time but tonight I am heartbroken over the loss of our first family member. She was the best dog I've ever seen and I will miss her so much.

uno, dos, tres

I can't believe my baby is three!

Soft Paws

No one call PETA. I found these awesome toenail covers to protect hardwood floors. They don't seem to bug Twister and they have decreased the peeling out on the floors. Yes, they come in black and clear but I thought the bright blue matched his personality a little better. He's the coolest dog in Tennessee!

tick-tock, tick-tock

Moving to Fayetteville was cheating a little bit because I already had a relationship with Jenny...a ready-made friend. But all my other Fayetteville friends seemed to happen so naturally and so quickly. Before I knew it, I had this great group of girlfriends that was easy. This week, Brian and Rebekah came through and spent the night with us on their way out of town. It was wonderful to have them in our house just like they had been a hundred times before. It was easy to parent around her and to watch our kids run around comfortably with each other. It felt so natural and so familiar. I guess I'm realizing that I'm pretty alone right now. I miss all you girls so bad and I miss your kids running around. I miss the noise of hearing someone call out "miss becky" and knowing exactly who it was without even looking, or Jenny telling Joel he can't have juice and then Joel coming and asking me for juice. Change sucks...We've all been pregnant together, had babies together, participated in welcoming home babies and then watching them grow to be amazing kids. I don't want new friends...I want my friends.

"I Do"

"mama...is daddy getting married?"




the only other time she's seen chad in dress uniform is from our wedding photos

fish out of water

how to have "mandatory" fun on a hot rainy day at an army picnic...

imagine

today she only wanted to be called Ariel
and she called me Flounder (all day)
and she didn't understand why she couldn't swim naked at the water park

of all people, how did i end up giving birth to a disney princess?

uh...

Me: "Ellie, let's sing the boots song. B-O-O-T-S, boots"

Ellie: "B-U-T-T-S, boots"

Me (thinking): um, surely that was an accident. Let's see...

Me: "How about we sing our ABC's instead?"

Pay It Foward

Last month when Chad was staying with Patrick & Kacy, he told me about a day that the neighbor was outside struggling to lay several pallets of sod by himself. Patrick, Chad and another neighbor went over and helped this guy lay out his yard. Obviously this guy was appreciative but Chad just went on and on about how good it felt to help him out.

Today, Chad was that man; outside struggling in his yard. He rented an agar to dig our fence post holes and was outside struggling to use it alone when our neighbor donned his work gloves and came over to help.

Today, I was that person too. In the midst of a huge hormonal breakdown about boxes and boxes and a bored Ellie and a messy house, Kacy called to see if she could take Ellie for the day. I pushed back all my tears and accepted, pretending it was no big deal. Why can't I just admit that I'm struggling? I don't feel good, in fact, I feel bad. I just want to crawl into bed and sleep until the start of my second trimester. I'm a yo-yo of emotions between thrilled about new starts and devastated about change.

Why is it so humbling to ask for help? We know that we aren't created to go at life alone. Scripture is full of examples: a help-meet, cousins, tribes, daughters-in-law, disciples and on and on but for some reason we are fooled into believing that we must be a failure if we are unable to carry the load alone. I do pretty well with the outright lies of Satan. It's the sneaky whispers that always get me.

Today I learned (again) that true friends are the ones who make you accept help even when you're convinced you shouldn't need it...even if in the big scheme of things, boxes just don't matter.

placenta

okay, this may be a little crude but jenny and i have a theory that the larger your placenta grows during pregnancy, the dumber you become. we always call out "placenta" when the pregnant one makes an error. well, my placental moments have officially arrived.

i have been searching and searching for the shelves to ellie's bookcase. i've opened every long box that they could possibly be packed in, looked and looked in the garage, grumbled under my breath that the movers probably forgot to unload them or stole them (because of course, plywood shelves are quite valuable) and just when i gave up and told myself i would have to buy a new bookcase, i found them...stacked neatly in the bookcase, on the bottom shelf.

man, i could eat some fruity pebbles right now...

casualities

we continue to swim in a sea of cardboard and numbered stickers but everyone has a bed cleared off to sleep in. i love being back in the country. we pass a couple of horse ranches and some cows every time we go to town and ellie squeals with excitement. slowly but surely we are getting things put away. as of right now, there have been two casualities...ellie's dresser exploded on the moving truck (i think they dropped it) and my crock pot shattered (which is a blessing because i needed a new one anyway).

we've met almost all of our neighbors and they are very nice. in fact, so nice that it's slightly suspicious but i think i'd just gotten used to the unfriendliness of fayetteville.

i miss my girlfriends terribly and i miss ellie's friends for her. to everyone who helped us out last week, thank-you again so much. you girls were my saving grace! i wish i could have packed all of you up, slapped an orange sticker on you and brought you along...

pics to come soon, i promise!

Bluoughghgh!!!

I've not been blogging because I am...
so nauseous
so sleepy
so moody
so in need of a 44 oz diet coke

In other news, my fast food obsession has reared it's ugly head again. Yesterday, I opened Jenny's pantry and started crying because she had yogurt covered pretzels and then I got very sad about not being able to stand in Jenny's pantry anymore after we move.

lucky seven

Sunday is our 7th wedding anniversary so I've written a short story depicting our lives.

Once upon a time there was a 19 year old girl that fell in love with a 27 year old man. They married and lived peacefully in their 16 x 60 single wide trailor next door to her parents. One week later, they adopted their first furry child, Pyro. The girl spent her days tending to tedious school work and writing care plans for her clinical patients. The man spent his days in medical school.

The second year, they moved to 5 acres outside of Tulsa and upgraded to a 32 x 60 double wide and adopted the second furry creature. The third year the girl finished college and began her work in the NICU at Tulsa Regional. The man donned his short white coat and began his clinical process.

During the fourth year, the man traded in the short white coat for Army camoflauge and a cross country move was made. No more trailors for these kids, they upgraded to a real house. They welcomed a beautiful baby girl. The man, the girl, and the baby continued to live their lovely lives for years five and six.

Year seven will no doubt bring great joy to this family. Another move is fast approaching and yes, baby number two is now on the way.

no, no, no!

This morning on the way to the gym I was listening to NPR cover a story about the democratic candidates for president. John Edwards was quoted as saying that a tax hike on the wealthy could potentially fund "universal health care".

Seriously...wealthy or not, how can anyone think this is a good idea? Sounds a heck of a lot like "redistrubution of wealth" to me. Please, I'm open to any intellectual ideas on why this isn't making Americans tremble with fear!

why

how many time do i have to try to tell you
that i'm sorry for the things i've done
but when i start to try to tell you
that's when you have to tell me
hey...this kind of trouble's only just begun
i tell myself too many times why don't you
learn to keep your big mouth shut
that's why it hurts so bad to hear the words
that keep falling from your mouth
falling from your mouth
falling from your mouth
tell me...why
why

i may be mad i may be blind
i may be viciously unkind
but i can still read what you're thinking
and i've heard it said too many times
that you'd be better off
besides
why can't you see this boat is sinking
this boat is sinking

let's go down to the water's edge
and we can cast away those doubts
some things are better left unsaid
but they still turn me inside out
tell me...why
tell me...why

this is the book i never read
these are the words i've never said
this is the path i'll never tread
these are the dreams i'll dream instead
this is the joy that's seldom spread
these are the tears
the tears we shed
this is the fear
this is the dread
these are the contents of my head
and these are the years that we have spent
and this is what they represent
and this is how i feel
do you know how i feel?
cause i don't think you know how i feel
you don't know what i feel

Annie Lennox

The down side

Fill this one out too!

http://kevan.org/nohari?name=here+we+go

No Camera

I am without a camera for the next two weeks so you will only be getting my ramblings. I stole this from Jenny's site. Fill it out for me if you want!
http://kevan.org/johari?name=becky+edwards

Do You Ever Wonder?

Why is it attractive to put colored makeup on your eyes, lips, and cheeks but not on your nose?

SOLD

The neurotic housekeeping has paid off...the house sold! That's all I have to say about that.

confession of my own

I skipped the gym again today. That's twice this week. One more day and it's a habit. It's 12:15pm and I'm still wearing what I slept in, I have mascara all over my face, and I haven't brushed my teeth yet (gross, I know). But...my house is clean. Whew, that feels better!

every breath i take (a silly ode to biofeedback)

she tells me let go;
breathe softly and slow;
quick squeeze, then relax;
your strength will be max;
inhale, exhale, man i'm uptight;
and now i'm not sure if i even breathe right =)

I'll Take A Do-Over

6:00 am Chad puts a groggy Ellie into bed with me and leaves for work
8:30 am I wake up, look at the clock and smile...we slept in. I decide to skip out on the gym today, we need groceries and the commissary on a Monday after payday is plenty of activity
9:00 am Fruit Loops and Little Bear, I take a quick shower while Ellie's distracted. Feeling pretty good as I throw on my new jeans and shirt from the Gap
9:15 am Uh-oh...my blow-dryer is missing. I remember putting it in the bathroom drawer at the beach this weekend. A sopping wet pony-tail it is
9:30 am I don't feel so cute anymore, I strip off my new clothes and throw on my trusty gray sweats. I'll buy groceries at Wal-Mart instead so I can buy a new blow-dryer
10:00 am wallet in my purse, Ellie in her seat, Diet Coke in hand, ready for the store. Uh-oh...my car won't start.
10:20 am Get my car jump-started with phone directions from Chad, learn that we own a handy little box that you plug-in and it jumps your car...proud of my new skill
10:30 am Drop off car at Wal-Mart for a new battery. Buy groceries. Eat an entire can of Puffs and half a box of fruit snacks with Ellie. Hear my name over loud-speaker. Uh-oh...they don't have my kind of car battery
11:45 am Re-jump start my car in parking lot of Wal-Mart, load groceries, come home. Yogurt and more Little Bear for lunch. I chug 12 oz of Diet Coke and laugh...we'll try again tomorrow. At least now I'll have a blow-dryer!
12:00 pm Start to feed dogs...uh-oh, we're out of dog food...leftover goulash and lima beans it is.

Takes Me Back

the smell of chalk in the air
rows of grips on the wall
the feel of a gritty mat under calloused feet
posters of heroes
rows of beams
the joy of landing in the pit

sometimes i forget it's a "mommy & me" class

Easter

Happy Easter!

The List

Reason number 14: 5:45 p.m. Chad's just gotten home from work. Ellie's running around in the buff. I'm in the kitchen listening to Sean Hannity, cooking dinner. DING-DONG...the doorbell rings. It's the agent who had scheduled at 3:30 pm today. "We're running a little late. Can we still show the house?"

The List

Reason number 13: The phone rings. "We have an agent who would like to show your home between 3:30 and 4:30". I glance at the clock...it's 3:26.

The List

I've decided to start a list of reasons why I do not like having my house for sale as they happen. Not that I am a constant complainer, but it sure feels good to vent. I'm starting with a random number because it sounds better.

Reason 12: It's Easter night and we've just returned home from a fun but tiring party. I just want to sit down but instead proceed to clean the entire house (including mopping) for the next two hours because the house "might" show on Monday.

And another thing...

Dear random parents,

I'm not one to harp on one as to how things run in a household. I don't really care if you "attachment parent" or "Ferberize" your kids. I don't care if you put them in time-out or swat them (of course, as long as it's not in anger). Parenting is stressful and so I am a fan of doing whatever works for your family to minimize the stress. My one request is that you PLEASE pay attention to your child's behavior when in public. If you choose to bring your wild boys to a playground (for instance, the one at Sonic) it would be greatly appreciated if you don't let them trample the toddlers that are hanging around. Please keep them out of my daughter's grill. I don't know you and therefore, don't want you trying to sit on top of my daughter while on the carousel. If you choose to ignore your children and continue enjoying your Route 44 Coke, don't act surprised when I scold your children. Stop living in denial...all moms know if their "angel" is really a hellion.

Sincerely,

Becky

p.s. I hope you enjoyed your corn dog.

In Case of Emergency

Would someone please hurry and buy my house? For the love, I do NOT enjoy keeping it "show" ready.

Base booming to banjos

"change-to make the form of something different from what it is"

How can I be so excited to go and so sad to leave all at the same time???

checkmate

She's been the boss of her playtime friends since birth, but I'm afraid she's met her match...enter Ava...this girl has got some spunk!

The Doctor Is In

hmm, it looks like a case of the big mouth...unfortunately, there is no cure.

Admiration

She needs her daddy, but he needed her more.

"No Py, Get Off My Couch"

Today I moved the old Elmo couch out of Ellie's room with the intent to throw it away but of course I got scattered and moved on to something else. Ellie and I later went upstairs and found Py lounging comfortably in her new found bed. The irony is that we have bought her dog beds in the past that she refuses to lay on. I guess she's just an Elmo fan. What a hoot! Ellie was not pleased that she had claimed it!

Make Way For the Queen

Today we played dress-up with some hand-me-down pretend clothes from a church friend. I have no words that can do this justice so enjoy the picture!

Sunday's Random Thought

Why do we think carpet is a good idea? It really is pretty gross.

Have you seen this baby?

We are turning over a new leaf in this house. Ellie has decided she is done with diapers. I have spent more time in the bathroom over the past 48 hours than I think I ever have, and talking about bodily functions has become the norm. I am pleased to say that we made it all day without any accidents (and of course, lots of chocolate with every successful trip). I know she is growing up but this is a mental challenge for me. I miss my baby girl. The one who was dependent on me for life for so long now helps herself to the pantry when she wants a snack. I've gone from questioning if it's okay to let her cry in her crib before falling asleep to questioning if it's okay that she spent all of her nap singing "Dora the Explorer" in her big girl bed. She used to cry when I dropped her off at church nursery, now she's upset if we miss a day at the gym and she doesn't get to see Miss Stacey. Now I know the secret behind the baby bug...as a mom, it's just too hard to let go.

Perspective

Our fivesome (Jenny, Joel, Samuel, Ellie and myself) hit the park yesterday afternoon for some serious outside time in the nice weather. We had the usual time with Ellie running all over, bossing Joel around. Listening to her jabber made me wonder at what point in life do we began focusing so hard that we quit seeing things altogether? I see a park; Ellie sees Dino Park. I see a jungle gym; she sees (and names) every single color that can be found in sight. I see an open field; she sees the perfect place to play chase with Joel. It's refreshing to look at the world through a toddler's eyes. Noticing clouds, airplanes, the fact that the dog has his own legs, and the color of Joel's eyes instead of thinking about my to do list. She doesn't care about solving the world's problems but she's thrilled to tell me "that's funny, the slide is blue."

Despite all the HAIR...

Our dogs are the world's best creatures. They have more personality than some of the humans I know. I was scared of Py when we first met her; now I can't imagine our house without her. She'll be ten this year and her age is started to show. Her muzzle and neck are becoming more gray each day and she moves a little slower, but she still has that spunk in her eyes that says "mom, mom, throw the ball, please." Twister was adopted out of guilt (three homes in one year). His name suits him well. His neurotic behavior once written off as "puppy" lingers on at age seven but he is so loyal. If I move, he moves, no matter what time of day.

Like all children, they do things that drive me crazy (eating metal, opening cans of playdoh) but like all children, I love them anyway =)

Time Flies

Earlier this afternoon I was trying to remember what Ellie used to call Miss Jenny before she could really say her name (it was GeeAnn). So many things have changed in our lives and are continuing to change and I figure capturing them in web form is a safe bet for now. I hope my random thoughts on our daily doings will give all a glimpse into our lives.